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I might not vote for RFK but maybe I'll believe in God.... you're an influencer Leah! Also a whole post on letting go please. And changing thoughts. I've found both of those actions supremely challenging. My latest tool is to speak the painful truth of it and then add, "and I love that about myself," for instance, "I make up stories that everyone hates my guts and I love that about myself!" This is a form of radical self-acceptance that actually works a little despite the cheesiness. As for self-hatred, shame, unworthiness, yes yes and yes. A life's work. Acting as if I believe in God, a concept I stole from JP, also helps a lot. I'm in your hands and I trust you, I say, when stepping into the terrifying unknown. Gonna give that episode with Tammy a listen. Looking forward to more posts!

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Jan 28·edited Jan 28Author

Lol—well if you have to pick one, you'll get more for your effort if you go with God over voting RFK Jr.. I love that you're finding your own tools to help you move forward through all the noise in your head. Check out C.S. Lewis's little book, The Screwtape Letters, a very useful perspective on that noise. With your humor I am certain you would get a huge kick out of it as well as lots of food for thought.

I also really like Peterson's view about living as if God exists. Based on a couple things I've heard him say, I'm wondering if his own life upheavals, including his wife's experience, have tipped him into full-on belief. I get the sense something has changed for him but I haven't been following him closely.

I will put your topic requests on my list! They surely are good ones. I've addressed both in previous posts for By My Reckoning, but I've not devoted a whole post to either. Thank you.

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Jan 27Liked by Leah Rose

“The point of power is always in the present moment”. Well stated and a great reminder. And that statement got me thinking, why does that resonate as true for me? I think, partly because the point of power in the present moment is based on the spiritual reality given to us from the Lord, of our human ability to choose our response to any given feeling that may come up at any given moment. The power is, at least in part, because we are blessed with the power of choice in our response.

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Yes to all of this! I've found meditation is hugely helpful for this—a daily practice of learning to stay present, which makes it easier to find ourselves awake in the moment when we need to breathe and choose. Thanks, Paige.

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Jan 28Liked by Leah Rose

Thank *you*, Leah. Very thoughtful piece of writing.

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Hey Leah, Love ya! So, I probably shouldn't respond, but here goes anyway,

Regarding Divine Gravity: It’s hard for me to believe a religion can be so binary. Either you believe in God, or you go to hell.

“They move themselves to the sides and are there caught in a flow that leads down into hell.”

“We can decide instead to keep to the edges, move with the counter-current that will take us to a very different eternity, one ruled by unexamined self-absorption and unrepentant rancor—by the desire to control, to force our will on other people, trying to be the god of our universe and theirs. A “resting” place in hell. (Kind of like this world, but with no hope of anything better. Shudder.)”

The idea that you either believe in God or the only other option is to be an unexamined, self-absorbed, unrepentant person who is headed for hell. I don’t know where religious people got the idea that they have a corner on morality or goodness. The world is filled with people, places, and things, with wonders and beauty, with intelligence and elegance. I can believe in so many things besides myself. I don’t need to control others or force my will on them. That seems more like what religions do. Religious people just find it convenient to relegate all unbelievers to hell and selfishness, it makes keeping the faith all the more appealing.

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Jan 28·edited Jan 28Author

Love you back, Jody, and I'm grateful you've spoken up to take issue (I did invite reaction). I appreciate being given the opportunity to hear reflected back what you heard me say so I can respond, clarify. Of course, our very different fundamentals of belief make it likely we'll still disagree about a lot of this. But I think I have some cleaning up to do, so here goes.

From the quotes you pulled above I can see I spoke too narrowly; I can hear the grating binary. Mea culpa. I did not accurately or fully express what I believe.

As I understand it, Divine gravity, that upward current of Divine love bringing us towards heaven, is universal. That means an individual has to actively seek to escape it—swim hard for the shallows—by rejecting, despising, what is good and true. Or put another way, by actively setting themselves against God, Who is the origin of all goodness and truth.

You pointed out that "The world is filled with people, places, and things, with wonders and beauty, with intelligence and elegance. I can believe in so many things besides myself." I agree with that. And I believe ALL that wonder and beauty, ALL that intelligence and elegance in those people, places, and things, exists from the Divine as reflections of His goodness and truth. So loving things that are true and good and NOT loving oneself more than others—more than things that are true and good—keeps us in that upwards, universal flow.

Your criticism of religion as too binary is well taken. I think all religions struggle with the fundamental question of boundaries because that's what all humans do. And I think as a result, a lot of people have been hurt by their experience of religion. As I understand it, though, the Lord is Mercy Itself—the literal definition and origin of it—so He is innately disposed to bring into heaven every single person who can possibly be happy there. It's why He created each of us in the first place. By definition, those will be people who do not oppose goodness and truth since people who oppose could not be happy living eternally in the sphere of His goodness and truth, which is the sphere of heaven.

To me, the most important point is that what "belief in God" looks like is not as narrow or binary as it may sound. The Lord is always quietly working with every human heart under every circumstance in every moment to maintain each person, to any extent they allow, in the flow of His Divine Gravity—which is to say, receiving His love and wisdom. That goes as much for those who profess to "not believe" as those who do. And it's also true that none of us here—believers or not—are beyond the challenges of self-centering beliefs and actions that harm what is good and true, what is wondrous, beautiful, intelligent, elegant. . . and I would add, innocent and loving. It's as possible for a professed "believer" to choose the shallows of self-absorption as it is for a professed "non-believer" to be swept upwards by their love for truth and goodness as they understand and experience them. IOW, it's not what you claim, it's how you live. And the Lord is far more compassionate and forgiving than any of us could ever be (being the origin of those good qualities), so he is always on our side, working for our eternal happiness.

Well...I guess I'll stop there. I do get that none of this may resonate with you. But I wanted to use this opportunity to flesh out the gray space between the black and white of my previous phrasing in case it hit anyone else wrong; such are the perils, I suppose, of trying not to overthink/over-edit before publishing, lol. I hope there was something useful in what I've said here. And again, thank you for being willing to challenge. You may well have said what another reader was thinking.

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